Θεῶν Διάλογοι

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2–1

HERMES

Quiet, I tell you. It’s dangerous for you to talk like that, and for me to listen.

Pan and Hermes

PAN

Good day to you, Hermes, Daddy mine.

HERMES

And a bad day to you. But how am I your daddy?

PAN

Aren’t you Hermes of Cyllene?

HERMES

Yes. How, then, are you my son?

PAN

I’m your bastard boy, your love-child. 5

HERMES

Oh quite so, when some billy-goat, I suppose, led a nanny astray! How could you be mine, you with your horns and ugly snout and shaggy beard and a goat’s cloven hooves and a tail over your behind?

PAN

When you jeer at me, daddy, you’re mocking your own son, or rather yourself for producing such creatures as your children. It’s not my fault.

HERMES

Who do you say your mother was? Perhaps I led a nanny astray without knowing it.

PAN

No, not a nanny. But try to remember if you ever forced your attentions on a freeborn girl in Arcadia. Why are you biting your nails and thinking so hard? Why so puzzled? I’m speaking of Icarius’ girl, Penelope. Lucian (with Cicero, De Natura Deorum, III, 22) follows Herodotus, II, 145 in making Pan the son of Penelope. There are other versions of his birth, of which the most important is the Homeric Hymn to Pan 34, where his mother is the daughter of Dryops.

HERMES

Then what possessed her to produce in you a child not like me but like a goat? 10