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3–1

DIOGENES

No indeed, your excellency; we shan’t be on an equal footing. Mausolus will groan when he remembers the things on earth above, which he thought brought him happiness, while Diogenes will be able to laugh at him. Mausolus will talk of the tomb erected to him at Halicarnassus by his wife and sister, Artemisia, whereas Diogenes has no idea whether he even has a tomb for his body, for he didn’t care about that, but he has left for the best of those who come after the report that he has lived the life of a man, a life, most servile of Carians, that towers above your memorial, and is built on surer foundations.

Nireus. Thersites. Menippus

NIREUS

Look, here’s Menippus, who will decide which of us is more handsome. Tell us, Menippus, don’t you think I am?

MENIPPUS

Whoever are you both? I ought to know that first, I suppose.

NIREUS

NIreus and Thersites.

MENIPPUS

Well, which is NIreus, and which Thersites? That’s still not clear.

THERSITES

That’s already one point in my favour, if I’m like you, and you don’t have the great superiority for which Homer the blind praised you, when he called you the most handsome of them all; I, with my sugarloaf head, and thin hair, Cf. Iliad, II, 219. seemed just as good-looking as you to Minos; but you, Menippus, take a good look to see which you think more handsome. 5

IREUS

Me, son of Charops and Aglaea, “handsomest man of all who came to Troy”. Cf. Iliad, II, 672-3.