3–2
DIOGENES
Yes, and say to the men who are handsome and strong like Megillus of Corinth and Damoxenus the wrestler, “Here with us are no golden locks or blue eyes or dark eyes, or rosy cheek, no well-strung sinews or sturdy shoulders—all with us, to quote the proverb, is one and the same dust, skulls bereft of good looks.”
POLLUX
Another easy message for me to give—to the handsome and strong.
DIOGENES
And tell the poor, my Spartan friend, who are many, displeased with life and pitying themselves for their poverty, not to cry and moan; describe to them our equality here, telling them how they’ll see the rich on earth no better here than they are themselves. And tell your own Spartans off from me, if you will, for having become so slack.
POLLUX
Not a word to me about Spartans, Diogenes; I won’t tolerate that. But I’ll deliver your messages to all the others.
DIOGENES
Let’s forget about the Spartans, since that’s your wish, but be sure to give my messages to the people I mentioned earlier on.
CHARON
Pay the fare, curse you.
MENIPPUS
Shout away, Charon, if that’s what you prefer.
CHARON
Pay me, I say, for taking you across.
MENIPPUS
You can’t get blood out of a stone.
CHARON
Is there anyone who hasn’t a single penny?
5
MENIPPUS
I don’t know about anyone else, but I am without one.
CHARON
But by Pluto, I’ll throttle you, you blackguard, if you don’t pay.
MENIPPUS
And I’ll smash your head with a blow from my stick.
CHARON
Then you’ll have sailed all this long way for nothing.
MENIPPUS
Hermes delivered me to you; let him pay.
10
HERMES
Heaven help me, if I’m going to pay for the dead too.
