LYCINUS They were not all of the same opinion. Some thought they ought to strip him, as is done with slaves, and determine by inspection whether he had the parts to practise philosophy. Others made the suggestion, even more ridiculous, that they should send for some women out of bawdy-houses and bid him consort with them and cohabit; and that one of the judges, the eldest and most trustworthy, should stand by and see whether he could practise philosophy! Then, as all were overcome by laughter and every man of them had a sore belly from shaking with it, they decided to refer the case to the highest court and send it to Italy.
Now, one of the pair is training, they say, for a demonstration of his eloquence, making his preparations, and composing an accusation. Morever, he is delicately putting forward the charge of adultery again, thereby acting in direct contradiction to himself, like a bad lawyer, and enrolling his opponent among fully enfranchised males through his accusation. As to Bagoas, he, they say, has different concerns, assiduously demonstrating his powers, keeping his case in hand, and, in sum, hoping to win if he can show that he is not a bit inferior to a jack at service. This, my friend, is apparently the best criterion of devotion to wisdom, and an irrefutable demonstration. Consequently, I may well pray that my son (who is still quite young) may be suitably endowed for the practise of philosophy with other tools than brain or tongue.
