Parodos
[Parodos]
Torotix, torotix.
Pisthetaerus
Wait, friend, there's a bird.
Euelpides
By Zeus, it is a bird, but what kind? Isn't it a peacock?
Pisthetaerus
Epops will tell us. What is this bird?
270
Epops
It's not one of those you are used to seeing; it's a bird from the marshes.
Euelpides
Oh! oh! but he is very handsome with his wings as crimson as flame.
Epops
Undoubtedly; indeed he is called flamingo.
Euelpides
Hi! I say! You!
Pisthetaerus
What are you shouting for?
Euelpides
Why, here's another bird.
Pisthetaerus
Aye, indeed; this one's a foreign bird too.
To Epops. What is this bird from beyond the mountains with a look as solemn as it is stupid?
275
Epops
He is called the Mede.
Euelpides
The Mede! But, by Heracles, how, if a Mede, has he flown here without a camel?
Pisthetaerus
Here's another bird with a crest.
Euelpides
Ah! that's curious. I say, Epops, you are not the only one of your kind then?
280
Epops
This bird is the son of Philocles, who is the son of Epops; so that, you see, I am his grandfather; just as one might say, Hipponicus, the son of Callias, who is the son of Hipponicus.
Euelpides
Then this bird is Callias! Why, what a lot of his feathers he has lost!
Epops
That's because he is honest; so the informers set upon him and the women too pluck out his feathers.
285
Euelpides
By Poseidon, do you see that many-coloured bird? What is his name?
Epops
This one? That's the glutton.
Euelpides
Is there another glutton besides Cleonymus?
But why, if he is Cleonymus, has he not thrown away his crest?
290
But what is the meaning of all these crests? Have these birds come to contend for the double stadium prize?
Epops
They are like the Carians, who cling to the crests of their mountains for greater safety.
Pisthetaerus
Oh, Poseidon! look what awful swarms of birds are gathering here!
Euelpides
By Phoebus! what a cloud! The entrance to the stage is no longer visible so closely do they fly together.
295
Pisthetaerus
Here is the partridge.
Euelpides
Why, there is the francolin.
Pisthetaerus
There is the poachard.
Euelpides
Here is the kingfisher.
To Epops. What's that bird behind the kingfisher?
Euelpides
What? a bird a barber?
300
Pisthetaerus
Why, Sporgilus is one.
300
Epops
Here comes the owl.
Euelpides
And who is it brings an owl to Athens?
Epops
Here is the magpie, the turtle-dove, the swallow, the horned-owl, the buzzard, the pigeon, the falcon, the ring-dove, the cuckoo, the red-foot, the red-cap, the purple-cap, the kestrel, the diver, the ousel, the osprey, the woodpecker . . .
Pisthetaerus
Oh! what a lot of birds! Oh! what a lot of blackbirds! How they scold, how they come rushing up! What a noise! what a noise! Can they be bearing us ill-will? Oh! there! there! they are opening their beaks and staring at us.
305
Euelpides
Why, so they are.
Leader of the Chorus
Popopopopopo. Where is he who called me? Where am I to find him?
310
Epops
I have been waiting for you a long while! I never fail in my word to my friends.
Leader of the Chorus
Tititititititi. What good news
Epops
Something that concerns our common safety, and that is just as pleasant as it is to the point. Two men, who are subtle reasoners, have come here to seek me.
Leader of the Chorus
Where? How? What are you saying?
Epops
I say, two old men have come from the abode of humans to propose a vast and splendid scheme to us.
320
Leader of the Chorus
Oh! it's a horrible, unheard-of crime! What are you saying?
Epops
Never let my words scare you.
Leader of the Chorus
What have you done to me?
Epops
I have welcomed two men, who wish to live with us.
Leader of the Chorus
And you have dared to do that!
325
Epops
Yes, and I am delighted at having done so.
325
Leader of the Chorus
And are they already with us?
Epops
Just as much as I am.
[Agon 1]
Ah! ah! we are betrayed; 'tis sacrilege! Our friend,
Chorus
he who picked up corn-seeds in the same plains as ourselves, has violated our ancient laws; he has broken the oaths that bind all birds; he has laid a snare for me, he has handed us over to the attacks of that impious race which, throughout all time,
330
has never ceased to war against us.
335
[Agon]
As for this traitorous bird, we will decide his case later, but the two old men shall be punished forthwith; we are going to tear them to pieces.
Pisthetaerus
It's all over with us.
Euelpides
You are the sole cause of all our trouble.
Why did you bring me from down yonder?
340
Pisthetaerus
To have you with me.
340
Euelpides
Say rather to have me melt into tears.
Pisthetaerus
Go on! you are talking nonsense. How will you weep with your eyes pecked out?
Chorus
Io! io! forward to the attack, throw yourselves upon the foe,
spill his blood; take to your wings and surround them on all sides. Woe to them! let us get to work with our beaks, let us devour them.
345
Nothing can save them from our wrath, neither the mountain forests, nor the clouds that float in the sky, nor the foaming deep.
350
Leader of the Chorus
Come, peck, tear to ribbons. Where is the chief of the cohort? Let him engage the right wing.
Euelpides
This is the fatal moment. Where shall I fly to, unfortunate wretch that I am?
Pisthetaerus
Wait! Stay here!
Euelpides
That they may tear me to pieces?
355
Pisthetaerus
And how do you think to escape them?
355
Euelpides
I don't know at all.
Pisthetaerus
Come, I will tell you. We must stop and fight them. Let us arm ourselves with these stew-pots.
Euelpides
Why with the stew-pots?
Pisthetaerus
The owl will not attack us then.
Euelpides
But do you see all those hooked claws?
Pisthetaerus
Take the spit
and pierce the foe on your side.
360
Euelpides
And how about my eyes?
360
Pisthetaerus
Protect them with this dish or this vinegar-pot.
Euelpides
Oh! what cleverness! what inventive genius! You are a great general, even greater than Nicias, where stratagem is concerned.
Leader of the Chorus
Forward, forward, charge with your beaks! Come, no delay.
Tear, pluck, strike, flay them, and first of all smash the stew-pot.
365
Epops
Oh, most cruel of all animals, why tear these two men to pieces, why kill them? What have they done to you? They belong to the same tribe, to the same family as my wife.
Leader of the Chorus
Are wolves to be spared? Are they not our most mortal foes?
So let us punish them.
370
Epops
If they are your foes by nature, they are your friends in heart, and they come here to give you useful advice.
Leader of the Chorus
Advice or a useful word from their lips, from them, the enemies of my forebears?
Epops
The wise can often profit by the lessons of a foe, for caution is the mother of safety. It is just such a thing as one will not learn from a friend and which an enemy compels you to know. To begin with, it's the foe and not the friend that taught cities to build high walls, to equip long vessels of war;
375
and it's this knowledge that protects our children, our slaves and our wealth.
380
Leader of the Chorus
Well then, I agree, let us first hear them, for that is best; one can even learn something in an enemy's school.
Pisthetaerus
Their wrath seems to cool. Draw back a little.
Epops
It's only justice, and you will thank me later.
Leader of the Chorus
Never have we opposed your advice up to now.
385
Pisthetaerus
They are in a more peaceful mood; put down your stew-pot and your two dishes; spit in hand, doing duty for a spear, let us mount guard inside the camp
close to the pot and watch in our arsenal closely; for we must not fly.
390
Euelpides
You are right. But where shall we be buried, if we die?
Pisthetaerus
In the Ceramicus; for, to get a public funeral, we shall tell the Strategi that we fell at Orneae, fighting the country's foes.
395
[Choral]
Return to your ranks and lay down your courage beside your wrath as the hoplites do. Then let us ask these men who they are, whence they come,
400
Leader of the Chorus
and with what intent. Here, Epops, answer me.
405
Epops
Are you calling me? What do you want of me?
Leader of the Chorus
Who are they? From what country?
Epops
Strangers, who have come from Greece, the land of the wise.
Leader of the Chorus
And what fate has led them hither to the land of the birds?
410
Epops
Their love for you and their wish to share your kind of life; to dwell and
remain with you always.
415
Leader of the Chorus
Indeed, and what are their plans?
Epops
They are wonderful, incredible, unheard of.
Leader of the Chorus
Why, do they think to see some advantage that determines them to settle here? Are they hoping with our help
to triumph over their foes or to be useful to their friends?
420
Epops
They speak of benefits so great it is impossible either to describe or conceive them; all shall be yours,
all that we see here, there, above and below us; this they vouch for.
425
Leader of the Chorus
Are they mad?
Epops
They are the sanest people in the world.
Leader of the Chorus
Clever men?
Epops
The slyest of foxes, cleverness its very self, men of the world, cunning, the cream of knowing folk.
430
Leader of the Chorus
Tell them to speak and speak quickly; why, as I listen to you, I am beside myself with delight.
Epops
Here, you there, take all these weapons and hang them up inside close to the fire, near the figure of the god who presides there and under his protection; To Pisthetaerus. as for you, address the birds, tell them why I have gathered them together.
435
Pisthetaerus
Not I, by Apollo,
unless they agree with me as the little ape of an armorer agreed with his wife, not to bite me, nor pull me by the balls, nor shove things into my . . .
440
Euelpides
Do you mean this?
Pisthetaerus
No, I mean my eyes.
Leader of the Chorus
Agreed.
Leader of the Chorus
I swear it and, if I keep my promise, let judges and spectators give me the victory unanimously.
445
Pisthetaerus
It is a bargain.
Leader of the Chorus
And if I break my word, may I succeed by one vote only.
Epops
Hearken, ye people! Hoplites, pick up your weapons and return to your firesides;
do not fail to read the decrees of dismissal we have posted.
450
[Agon 1]
Man is a truly cunning creature, but nevertheless explain. Perhaps you are going to show me some good way
Chorus
to extend my power, some way that I have not had the wit to find out and which you have discovered. Speak! 'tis to your own interest as well as to mine, for if you secure me some advantage, I will surely share it with you.
455
[Agon]
But what object can have induced you to come among us? Speak boldly, for I shall not break the truce, —until you have told us all.
460
Pisthetaerus
I am bursting with desire to speak; I have already mixed the dough of my address and nothing prevents me from kneading it.... Slave! bring the chaplet and water, which you must pour over my hands. Be quick!
Euelpides
Is it a question of feasting? What does it all mean?
Pisthetaerus
By Zeus, no! but I am hunting for fine, tasty words to break down the hardness of their hearts.
To the Chorus. I grieve so much for you, who at one time were kings...
465
Leader of the Chorus
We kings? Over whom?
Pisthetaerus
... of all that exists, firstly of me and of this man, even of Zeus himself. Your race is older than Saturn, the Titans and the Earth.
Leader of the Chorus
What, older than the Earth!
470
Pisthetaerus
By Phoebus, yes.
470
Leader of the Chorus
By Zeus, but I never knew that before!
470
Pisthetaerus
That's because you are ignorant and heedless, and have never read your Aesop. He is the one who tells us that the lark was born before all other creatures, indeed before the Earth; his father died of sickness, but the Earth did not exist then; he remained unburied for five days, when the bird in its dilemma decided,
for want of a better place, to entomb its father in its own head.
475
Euelpides
So that the lark's father is buried at Cephalae.
Pisthetaerus
Hence, if they existed before the Earth, before the gods, the kingship belongs to them by right of priority.
Euelpides
Undoubtedly, but sharpen your beak well;
Zeus won't be in a hurry to hand over his scepter to the woodpecker.
480
Pisthetaerus
It was not the gods, but the birds, who were formerly the masters and kings over men; of this I have a thousand proofs. First of all, I will point you to the cock, who governed the Persians before all other monarchs, before Darius and Megabazus.
It's in memory of his reign that he is called the Persian bird.
485
Euelpides
For this reason also, even to-day, he alone of all the birds wears his tiara straight on his head, like the Great King.
Pisthetaerus
He was so strong, so great, so feared, that even now, on account of his ancient power,
everyone jumps out of bed as soon as ever he crows at daybreak. Blacksmiths, potters, tanners, shoemakers, bathmen, corn-dealers, lyre-makers and armorers, all put on their shoes and go to work before it is daylight.
490
Euelpides
I can tell you something about that. It was the cock's fault that I lost a splendid tunic of Phrygian wool. I was at a feast in town, given to celebrate the birth of a child; I had drunk pretty freely
and had just fallen asleep, when a cock, I suppose in a greater hurry than the rest, began to crow. I thought it was dawn and set out for Halimus. I had hardly got beyond the walls, when a footpad struck me in the back with his bludgeon; down I went and wanted to shout, but he had already made off with my mantle.
495
Pisthetaerus
Formerly also the kite was ruler and king over the Greeks.
Leader of the Chorus
The Greeks?
500
Pisthetaerus
And when he was king, he was the one who first taught them to fall on their knees before the kites.
500
Euelpides
By Zeus! that's what I did myself one day on seeing a kite; but at the moment I was on my knees, and leaning backwards with mouth agape, I bolted an obolus and was forced to carry my meal-sack home empty.
Pisthetaerus
The cuckoo was king of Egypt and of the whole of Phoenicia.
When he called out cuckoo, all the Phoenicians hurried to the fields to reap their wheat and their barley.
505
Euelpides
Hence no doubt the proverb, Cuckoo! cuckoo! go to the fields, ye circumcised.
Pisthetaerus
So powerful were the birds that the kings of Grecian cities, Agamemnon, Menelaus, for instance,
carried a bird on the tip of their scepters, who had his share of all presents.
510
Euelpides
That I didn't know and was much astonished when I saw Priam come upon the stage in the tragedies with a bird, which kept watching Lysicrates to see if he got any present.
Pisthetaerus
But the strongest proof of all is that Zeus, who now reigns,
is represented as standing with an eagle on his head as a symbol of his royalty; his daughter has an owl, and Phoebus, as his servant, has a hawk.
515
Euelpides
By Demeter, the point is well taken. But what are all these birds doing in heaven?
Pisthetaerus
When anyone sacrifices and, according to the rite, offers the entrails to the gods, these birds take their share before Zeus.
Formerly men always swore by the birds and never by the gods. And even now Lampon swears by the goose whenever he wishes to deceive someone. Thus it is clear that you were once great and sacred,
520
but now you are looked upon as slaves, as fools, as Maneses; stones
are thrown at you as at raving madmen, even in holy places. A crowd of bird-catchers sets snares, traps, limed twigs and nets of all sorts for you; you are caught, you are sold in heaps
525
and the buyers finger you over to be certain you are fat. Again, if they would but serve you up simply roasted; but they rasp cheese into a mixture of oil, vinegar and laserwort,
530
to which another sweet and greasy sauce is added, and the whole is poured scalding hot over your back, for all the world as if you were diseased meat.
535
Chorus
Man, your words have
made my heart bleed; I have groaned over the treachery of our fathers, who knew not how to transmit to us the high rank they held from their forefathers. But 'tis a benevolent Genius, a happy Fate, that sends you to us;
540
you shall be our deliverer and I place the destiny of my little ones and my own in your hands with every confidence.
545
Leader of the Chorus
But hasten to tell me what must be done; we should not be worthy to live, if we did not seek to regain our royalty by every possible means.
Pisthetaerus
First I advise that the birds gather together in one city and that they build a wall of great bricks, like that at Babylon, round the plains of the air and the whole region of space that divides earth from heaven.
550
Epops
Oh, Cebriones! oh, Porphyrion! what a terribly strong place!
Pisthetaerus
Then, when this has been well done and completed, you demand back the empire from Zeus;
if he will not agree, if he refuses and does not at once confess himself beaten, you declare a sacred war against him and forbid the gods henceforward to pass through your country with their tools up, as hitherto, for the purpose of laying their Alcmenas, their Alopes, or their Semeles! if they try to pass through,
555
you put rings on their tools so that they can't make love any longer. You send another messenger to mankind, who will proclaim to them that the birds are kings, that for the future they must first of all sacrifice to them, and only afterwards to the gods; that it is fitting to appoint to each deity the bird that has most in common with it.
560
For instance, are they sacrificing to Aphrodite, let them at the same time offer barley to the coot; are they immolating a sheep to Poseidon, let them consecrate wheat in honor of the duck; if a steer is being offered to Heracles, let honey-cakes be dedicated to the gull; if a goat is being slain for King Zeus, there is a King-Bird, the wren, to whom the sacrifice of a male gnat is due before Zeus himself even.
565
Euelpides
This notion of an immolated gnat delights me! And now let the great Zeus thunder!
570
Leader of the Chorus
But how will mankind recognize us as gods and not as jays? Us, who have wings and fly?
Pisthetaerus
You talk rubbish! Hermes is a god and has wings and flies, and so do many other gods. First of all, Victory flies with golden wings, Eros is undoubtedly winged too,
and Iris is compared by Homer to a timorous dove.
575
Euelpides
But will not Zeus thunder and send his winged bolts against us?
Pisthetaerus
If men in their blindness do not recognize us as gods and so continue to worship the dwellers in Olympus? Then a cloud of sparrows greedy for corn must descend upon their fields and eat up all their seeds;
we shall see then if Demeter will mete them out any wheat.
580
Euelpides
By Zeus, she'll take good care she does not, and you will see her inventing a thousand excuses.
Pisthetaerus
The crows too will prove your divinity to them by pecking out the eyes of their flocks and of their draught-oxen; and then let Apollo cure them, since he is a physician and is paid for the purpose.
Euelpides
Oh! don't do that! Wait first until I have sold my two young bullocks.
585
Pisthetaerus
If on the other hand they recognize that you are God, the principle of life, that you are Earth, Kronos, Poseidon, they shall be loaded with benefits.
Epops
Name me one of these then.
Pisthetaerus
Firstly, the locusts shall not eat up their vine-blossoms; a legion of owls and kestrels will devour them.
Moreover, the gnats and the gallbugs shall no longer ravage the figs; a flock of thrushes shall swallow the whole host down to the very last.
590
Epops
And how shall we give wealth to mankind? This is their strongest passion.
Pisthetaerus
When they consult the omens, you will point them to the richest mines, you will reveal the paying ventures to the diviner,
and not another shipwreck will happen or sailor perish.
595
Epops
No more shall perish? How is that?
595
Pisthetaerus
When the auguries are examined before starting on a voyage, some bird will not fail to say, Don't start! there will be a storm, or else, Go! you will make a most profitable venture.
Euelpides
I shall buy a trading-vessel and go to sea. I will not stay with you.
Pisthetaerus
You will discover treasures to them, which were buried in former times,
for you know them. Do not all men say, None knows where my treasure lies, unless perchance it be some bird.
600
Euelpides
I shall sell my boat and buy a spade to unearth the vessels.
Leader of the Chorus
And how are we to give them health, which belongs to the gods?
Pisthetaerus
If they are happy, is not that the chief thing towards health?
The miserable man is never well.
605
Leader of the Chorus
Old Age also dwells in Olympus. How will they get at it? Must they die in early youth?
Pisthetaerus
Why, the birds, by Zeus,
will add three hundred years to their life.
Leader of the Chorus
From whom will they take them?
Pisthetaerus
From whom? Why, from themselves. Don't you know the cawing crow lives five times as long as a man?
Euelpides
Ah! ah! these are far better kings for us than Zeus!
610
Pisthetaerus
Far better, are they not? And firstly, we shall not have to build them temples of hewn stone, closed with gates of gold;
they will dwell amongst the bushes and in the thickets of green oak; the most venerated of birds will have no other temple than the foliage of the olive tree; we shall not go to Delphi or to Ammon
615
to sacrifice; but standing erect in the midst of arbutus and wild olives and holding forth our hands filled with wheat and barley, we shall pray them to admit us to a share of the blessings they enjoy
620
and shall at once obtain them for a few grains of wheat.
625
[Lyric-Scene]
Old man, whom I detested, you are now to me the dearest of all; never shall I, if I can help it, fail to follow your advice.
Chorus
Inspirited by your words,
I threaten my rivals the gods, and I swear that if you march in alliance with me against the gods and are faithful to our just, loyal and sacred bond, we shall soon have shattered their scepter.
630
Leader of the Chorus
We shall charge ourselves with the performance of everything that requires force; that which demands thought and deliberation shall be yours to supply.
Epops
By Zeus! it's no longer
the time to delay and loiter like Nicias; let us act as promptly as possible.... In the first place, come, enter my nest built of brushwood and blades of straw, and tell me your names.
640
Pisthetaerus
That is soon done; my name is Pisthetaerus, and his,
Euelpides, of the deme Crioa.
645
Epops
Good! and good luck to you.
645
Pisthetaerus
We accept the omen.
Pisthetaerus
Very well, you are the one who must lead us and introduce us.
Pisthetaerus
Oh! my god! do come back here. Hi! tell us how
we are to follow you. You can fly, but we cannot.
650
Pisthetaerus
Remember Aesop's fables. It is told there that the fox fared very badly, because he had made an alliance with the eagle.
Epops
Be at ease. You shall eat a certain root
and wings will grow on your shoulders.
655
Pisthetaerus
Then let us enter. Xanthias and Manodorus, pick up our baggage.
[Episode]
Hi! Epops! do you hear me?
Leader of the Chorus
Take them off to dine well and call your mate, the melodious Procne, whose songs are worthy of the Muses;
she will delight our leisure moments.
660
Pisthetaerus
Oh! I conjure you, accede to their wish; for this delightful bird will leave her rushes at the sound of your voice;
for the sake of the gods, let her come here, so that we may contemplate the nightingale.
Epops
Let it be as you desire. Come forth, Procne, show yourself to these strangers.
665
Pisthetaerus
Oh! great Zeus! what a beautiful little bird! what a dainty form! what brilliant plumage!
Do you know how dearly I should like to get between her thighs?
Euelpides
She is dazzling all over with gold, like a young girl.
670
Oh! how I should like to kiss her!
Pisthetaerus
Why, wretched man, she has two little sharp points on her beak!
Euelpides
I would treat her like an egg, the shell of which we remove before eating it; I would take off her mask and then kiss her pretty face.
Pisthetaerus
Lead the way, and may success attend us.
Epops goes into the thicket, followed by Pisthetaerus and Euelpides.
675
[Parabasis]
Lovable golden bird, whom I cherish above all others, you, whom I associate with all my songs, nightingale,
Chorus
you have come, you have come, to show yourself to me and to charm me with your notes. Come, you, who play spring melodies upon the harmonious flute, lead off our anapests.
680
Leader of the Chorus
Weak mortals, chained to the earth, creatures of clay as frail as the foliage of the woods, you unfortunate race, whose life is but darkness, as unreal as a shadow, the illusion of a dream, hearken to us, who are immortal beings, ethereal, ever young and occupied with eternal thoughts, for we shall teach you about all celestial matters;
685
you shall know thoroughly what is the nature of the birds, what the origin of the gods, of the rivers, of Erebus, and Chaos; thanks to us, even Prodicus will envy you your knowledge.
690
At the beginning there was only Chaos, Night, dark Erebus, and deep Tartarus. Earth, the air and heaven had no existence.
Firstly, blackwinged Night laid a germless egg in the bosom of the infinite deeps of Erebus, and from this, after the revolution of long ages, sprang the graceful Eros with his glittering golden wings, swift as the whirlwinds of the tempest. He mated in deep Tartarus with dark Chaos, winged like himself, and thus hatched forth our race, which was the first to see the light.
695
That of the Immortals did not exist until Eros had brought together all the ingredients of the world, and from their marriage Heaven, Ocean, Earth and the imperishable race of blessed gods sprang into being. Thus our origin is very much older than that of the dwellers in Olympus. We are the offspring of Eros; there are a thousand proofs to show it. We have wings and we lend assistance to lovers.
700
How many handsome youths, who had sworn to remain insensible, have opened their thighs because of our power and have yielded themselves to their lovers when almost at the end of their youth, being led away by the gift of a quail, a waterfowl, a goose, or a cock.
705
Chorus
And what important services do not the birds render to mortals! First of all, they mark the seasons for them, springtime, winter, and autumn.
Does the screaming crane migrate to Libya, —it warns the husbandman to sow, the pilot to take his ease beside his tiller hung up in his dwelling, and Orestes to weave a tunic, so that the rigorous cold may not drive him any more to strip other folk. When the kite reappears, he tells of the return of spring and of the period when the fleece of the sheep must be clipped. Is the swallow in sight?
710
All hasten to sell their warm tunic and to buy some light clothing. We are your Ammon, Delphi, Dodona, your Phoebus Apollo. Before undertaking anything, whether a business transaction, a marriage, or the purchase of food, you consult the birds by reading the omens, and you give this name of omen to all signs that tell of the future.
715
With you a word is an omen, you call a sneeze an omen, a meeting an omen, an unknown sound an omen, a slave or an ass an omen. Is it not clear that we are a prophetic Apollo to you?
720
If you recognize us as gods, we shall be your divining Muses, through us you will know the winds and the seasons, summer,
winter, and the temperate months. We shall not withdraw ourselves to the highest clouds like Zeus, but shall be among you and shall give to you
725
and to your children and the children of your children, health and wealth, long life, peace, youth, laughter, songs and feasts; in short, you will all be so well off,
730
that you will be weary and cloyed with enjoyment.
735
[Parabasis 1]
Oh, rustic Muse of such varied note, tiotiotiotiotiotinx, I sing with you
First Semi-Chorus
in the groves and on the mountain tops, tiotiotiotinx. I poured forth sacred strains from my golden throat
740
in honor of the god Pan, tiotiotiotinx, from the top of the thickly leaved ash, and my voice mingles with the mighty choirs who extol Cybele on the mountain tops, totototototototototinx. 'Tis to our concerts that Phrynichus comes to pillage like a bee the ambrosia of his songs,
745
the sweetness of which so charms the ear, tiotiotiotinx.
750
[Parabasis]
If there is one of you spectators who wishes to spend the rest of his life quietly among the birds, let him come to us.
Leader of First Semi-Chorus
All that is disgraceful and forbidden by law on earth is on the contrary honorable among us, the birds. For instance, among you it's a crime to beat your father, but with us it's an estimable deed; it's considered fine to run straight at your father and hit him, saying, Come, lift your spur if you want to fight.
755
The runaway slave, whom you brand, is only a spotted francolin with us. Are you Phrygian like Spintharus? Among us you would be the Phrygian bird, the goldfinch, of the race of Philemon. Are you a slave and a Carian like Execestides?
760
Among us you can create yourself forefathers; you can always find relations. Does the son of Pisias want to betray the gates of the city to the foe? Let him become a partridge, the fitting offspring of his father; among us there is no shame in escaping as cleverly as a partridge.
765
Second Semi-Chorus
So the swans on the banks of the Hebrus,
tiotiotiotiotiotinx, mingle their voices to serenade Apollo, tiotiotiotinx, flapping their wings the while,
770
tiotiotiotinx; their notes reach beyond the clouds of heaven; they startle the various tribes of the beasts; a windless sky calms the waves, totototototototototinx;
775
all Olympus resounds, and astonishment seizes its rulers; the Olympian graces and Muses cry aloud the strain, tiotiotiotinx.
780
Leader of Second Semi-Chorus
There is nothing more useful nor more pleasant than to have wings. To begin with, just let us suppose a spectator to be dying with hunger and to be weary of the choruses of the tragic poets; if he were winged, he would fly off, go home to dine and come back with his stomach filled.
785
Some Patroclides, needing to take a crap, would not have to spill it out on his cloak, but could fly off, satisfy his requirements, let a few farts and, having recovered his breath, return. If one of you, it matters not who, had adulterous relations and saw the husband of his mistress in the seats of the senators,
790
he might stretch his wings, fly to her, and, having laid her, resume his place. Is it not the most priceless gift of all, to be winged? Look at Diitrephes! His wings were only wicker-work ones, and yet he got himself chosen Phylarch and then Hipparch; from being nobody,
795
he has risen to be famous; he's now the finest gilded cock of his tribe.
800
Pisthetaerus
Halloa! What's this? By Zeus! I never saw anything so funny in all my life.
Euelpides
What makes you laugh?
Pisthetaerus
Your little wings. D'you know what you look like?
Like a goose painted by some dauber.
805
Euelpides
And you look like a close-shaven blackbird.
Pisthetaerus
We ourselves asked for this transformation, and, as Aeschylus has it, These are no borrowed feathers, but truly our own.
Epops
Come now, what must be done?
Pisthetaerus
First give our city
a great and famous name, then sacrifice to the gods.
810
Euelpides
I think so too.
Leader of the Chorus
Let's see. What shall our city be called?
Pisthetaerus
Will you have a high-sounding Laconian name? Shall we call it Sparta?
call my town Sparta? Why, I would not use esparto for my bed, even though I had nothing but bands of rushes.
815
Pisthetaerus
Well then, what name can you suggest?
Euelpides
Some name borrowed from the clouds, from these lofty regions in which we dwell —in short, some well-known name.
Pisthetaerus
Do you like Nephelococcygia?
Leader of the Chorus
Oh! capital!
820
truly that's a brilliant thought!
820
Euelpides
Is it in Nephelococcygia that all the wealth of Theogenes and most of Aeschines' is?
Pisthetaerus
No, it's rather the plain of Phlegra, where the gods
withered the pride of the sons of the Earth with their shafts.
825
Leader of the Chorus
Oh! what a splendid city! But what god shall be its patron? for whom shall we weave the peplus?
Euelpides
Why not choose Athena Polias?
Pisthetaerus
Oh! what a well-ordered town it would be
to have a female deity armed from head to foot, while Clisthenes was spinning!
830
Leader of the Chorus
Who then shall guard the Pelargicon?
Leader of the Chorus
One of us? What kind of bird?
Pisthetaerus
A bird of Persian strain, who is everywhere proclaimed to be the bravest of all,
a true chick of Ares.
835
Euelpides
Oh! noble chick!
835
Pisthetaerus
Because he is a god well suited to live on the rocks. Come! into the air with you to help the workers who are building the wall; carry up rubble, strip yourself to mix the mortar,
take up the hod, tumble down the ladder, if you like, post sentinels, keep the fire smouldering beneath the ashes, go round the walls, bell in hand, and go to sleep up there yourself; then despatch two heralds, one to the gods above, the other to mankind on earth
840
Euelpides
As for yourself, remain here, and may the plague take you for a troublesome fellow!
He departs.
845
Pisthetaerus
Go, friend, go where I send you, for without you my orders cannot be obeyed. For myself, I want to sacrifice to the new god, and I am going to summon the priest who must preside at the ceremony.
Slaves! slaves! bring forward the basket and the lustral water.
850
[Lyric-Scene 1]
I do as you do, and I wish as you wish, and I implore you to address powerful and solemn prayers to the gods, and in addition
Chorus
to immolate a sheep as a token of our gratitude. Let us sing the Pythian chant in honor of the god, and let Chaeris accompany our voices.
855
Pisthetaerus
Enough! but, by Heracles! what is this?
Great gods! I have seen many prodigious things, but I never saw a muzzled raven.
The Priest arrives. Priest! it's high time! Sacrifice to the new gods.
860
Priest
I begin, but where is the man with the basket? Pray to the Hestia of the birds, to the kite, who presides over the hearth, and to all the god and goddess-birds who dwell in Olympus . . .
Pisthetaerus
Oh! Hawk, the sacred guardian of Sunium, oh, god of the storks!
Priest
. . . to the swan of Delos, to Leto the mother of the quails, and to Artemis, the goldfinch . . .
Pisthetaerus
It's no longer Artemis Colaenis, but Artemis the goldfinch.
Priest
. . . to Bacchus, the finch and Cybele, the ostrich and mother of the gods and mankind. . .
Pisthetaerus
Oh! sovereign ostrich Cybele, mother of Cleocritus!
Priest
. . . to grant health and safety to the Nephelococcygians as well as to the dwellers in Chios . . .
Pisthetaerus
The dwellers in Chios! Ah! I am delighted they should be thus mentioned on all occasions.
880
Priest
. . . to the heroes, the birds, to the sons of heroes, to the porphyrion, the pelican, the spoon-bill, the redbreast, the grouse, the peacock, the horned-owl, the teal, the bittern, the heron, the stormy petrel, the fig-pecker, the titmouse . . .
Pisthetaerus
Stop! stop! you drive me crazy with your endless list. Why, wretch,
to what sacred feast are you inviting the vultures and the sea-eagles? Don't you see that a single kite could easily carry off the lot at once? Begone, you and your fillets and all; I shall know how to complete the sacrifice by myself.
890
Chorus
It is imperative that I sing another sacred chant for the rite of the lustral water, and that I invoke
895
the immortals, or at least one of them, provided always that you have some suitable food to offer him; from what I see here, in the shape of gifts, there is naught whatever but horn and hair.
900
Pisthetaerus
Let us address our sacrifices and our prayers to the winged gods.
[Lyric-Scene]
Oh, Muse! celebrate happy Nephelococcygia in your hymns.
Pisthetaerus
What have we here? Where did you come from, tell me? Who are you?
Poet
I am he whose language is sweeter than honey, the zealous slave of the Muses,
Pisthetaerus
You a slave! and yet you wear your hair long?
Poet
No, but the fact is all we poets are the assiduous slaves of the Muses, according to Homer.
Pisthetaerus
In truth your little cloak is quite holy too through zeal! But, poet, what ill wind drove you here?
915
Poet
I have composed verses in honor of your Nephelococcygia, a host of splendid dithyrambs and parthenia worthy of Simonides himself.
Pisthetaerus
And when did you compose them? How long since?
920
Poet
Oh! 'tis long, aye, very long, that I have sung in honor of this city.
Pisthetaerus
But I am only celebrating its foundation with this sacrifice; I have only just named it, as is done with little babies.
Poet
Just as the chargers fly with the speed of the wind, so does the voice of the Muses take its flight. Oh! thou noble founder of the town of Aetna thou, whose name recalls the holy sacrifices,
make us such gift as thy generous heart shall suggest.
He puts out his hand.
930
Pisthetaerus
He will drive us silly if we do not get rid of him by some present.
To the Priest's acolyte. Here! you, who have a fur as well as your tunic, take it off and give it to this clever poet. Come,
take this fur; you look to me to be shivering with cold.
935
Poet
My Muse will gladly accept this gift; but engrave these verses of Pindar's on your mind.
Pisthetaerus
Oh! what a pest! It's impossible then to get rid of him!
940
Poet
Straton wanders among the Scythian nomads, but has no linen garment. He is sad at only wearing an animal's pelt and no tunic.
Do you get what I mean?
945
Pisthetaerus
I understand that you want me to offer you a tunic. Hi! you
To the acolyte. take off yours; we must help the poet. . . . Come, you, take it and get out.
Poet
I am going, and these are the verses that I address to this city:
Phoebus of the golden throne, celebrate this shivery, freezing city; I have travelled through fruitful and snow-covered plains. Tralala! Tralala!
He departs.
950
Pisthetaerus
What are you chanting us
about frosts? Thanks to the tunic, you no longer fear them. Ah! by Zeus! I could not have believed this cursed fellow could so soon have learnt the way to our city. To a slave. Come, take the lustral water and circle the altar. Let all keep silence!
955
Oracle-Monger
Let not the goat be sacrificed.
Pisthetaerus
Who are you?
960
Oracle-Monger
Who am I? An oracle-monger.
960
Pisthetaerus
Get out!
960
Oracle-Monger
Wretched man, insult not sacred things. For there is an oracle of Bacis, which exactly applies to Nephelococcygia.
Pisthetaerus
Why did you not reveal it to me before
Oracle-Monger
The divine spirit was against it.
965
Pisthetaerus
Well, I suppose there's nothing to do but hear the terms of the oracle.
Oracle-Monger
But when the wolves and the white crows shall dwell together between Corinth and Sicyon ...
Pisthetaerus
But how do the Corinthians concern me?
Oracle-Monger
It is the regions of the air that Bacis indicates in this manner. They must first sacrifice a white-fleeced goat to Pandora, and give the prophet who first reveals my words a good cloak and new sandals.
970
Pisthetaerus
Does it say sandals there?
Oracle-Monger
Look at the book.
And besides this a goblet of wine and a good share of the entrails of the victim.
975
Pisthetaerus
Of the entrails —does it say that?
Oracle-Monger
Look at the book. If you do as I command, divine youth, you shall be an eagle among the clouds; if not, you shall be neither turtle-dove, nor eagle, nor woodpecker.
Pisthetaerus
Does it say all that?
980
Oracle-Monger
Look at the book.
980
Pisthetaerus
This oracle in no sort of way resembles the one Apollo dictated to me: If an impostor comes without invitation to annoy you during the sacrifice and to demand a share of the victim,
apply a stout stick to his ribs.
985
Oracle-Monger
You are drivelling.
Pisthetaerus
Look at the book. And don't spare him, were he an eagle from out of the clouds, were it Lampon himself or the great Diopithes.
Oracle-Monger
Does it say that?
Pisthetaerus
Look at the book
and go and hang yourself.
990
Oracle-Monger
Oh! unfortunate wretch that I am.
He departs.
990
Pisthetaerus
Away with you, and take your prophecies elsewhere.
Meton
I have come to you . . .
Pisthetaerus
Yet another pest! What have you come to do? What's your plan? What's the purpose of your journey? Why these splendid buskins?
Meton
I want to survey the plains of the air for you and to parcel them into lots.
995
Pisthetaerus
In the name of the gods, who are you?
Meton
Who am I? Meton, known throughout Greece and at Colonus.
Pisthetaerus
What are these things?
Meton
Tools for measuring the air.
In truth, the spaces in the air have precisely the form of a furnace. With this bent ruler I draw a line from top to bottom; from one of its points I describe a circle with the compass. Do you understand?
1000
Pisthetaerus
Not in the least.
Meton
With the straight ruler I set to work to inscribe
a square within this circle; in its center will be the market-place, into which all the straight streets will lead, converging to this center like a star, which, although only orbicular, sends forth its rays in a straight line from all sides.
1005
Pisthetaerus
A regular Thales!
Meton
What d'you want with me?
1010
Pisthetaerus
I want to give you a proof of my friendship. Use your legs.
1010
Meton
Why, what have I to fear?
Pisthetaerus
It's the same here as in Sparta. Strangers are driven away, and blows rain down as thick as hail.
Meton
Is there sedition in your city?
Pisthetaerus
No, certainly not.
1015
Meton
What's wrong then?
1015
Pisthetaerus
We are agreed to sweep all quacks and impostors far from our borders.
1015
Meton
Then I'll be going.
Pisthetaerus
I'm afraid it's too late. The thunder growls already.
Pisthetaerus
I warned you.
Now, be off, and do your surveying somewhere else.
1020
Inspector
Where are the Proxeni?
Pisthetaerus
Who is this Sardanapalus?
Inspector
I have been appointed by lot to come to Nephelococcygia as inspector.
Pisthetaerus
An inspector! and who sends you here, you rascal?
Inspector
A decree of Teleas.
Pisthetaerus
Will you just pocket your salary, do nothing, and get out?
1025
Inspector
Indeed I will; I am urgently needed to be at Athens to attend the Assembly; for I am charged with the interests of Pharnaces.
Pisthetaerus
Take it then, and get on your way. This is your salary.
He beats him.
Inspector
What does this mean?
1030
Pisthetaerus
This is the assembly where you have to defend Pharnaces.
1030
Inspector
You shall testify that they dare to strike me, the inspector.
Pisthetaerus
Are you not going to get out with your urns? It's not to be believed; they send us inspectors before we have so much as paid sacrifice to the gods.
Dealer in Decrees
If the Nephelococcygian does wrong to the Athenian ...
1035
Pisthetaerus
What trouble now? What book is that?
Dealer in Decrees
I am a dealer in decrees, and I have come here to sell you the new laws.
Dealer in Decrees
The Nephelococcygians shall adopt the same weights, measures and decrees as the Olophyxians.
1040
Pisthetaerus
And you shall soon be imitating the Ototyxians.
Dealer in Decrees
Ow! what are you doing?
Pisthetaerus
Now will you get out of here with your decrees? For I am going to let you see some severe ones.
Inspector
I summon Pisthetaerus for outrage for the month of Munychion.
Pisthetaerus
Ha! my friend! are you still here?
Dealer in Decrees
Should anyone drive away the magistrates and not receive them, according to the decree duly posted ...
1050
Pisthetaerus
What! rascal! you are back too?
Inspector
Woe to you! I'll have you condemned to a fine of ten thousand drachmae.
Pisthetaerus
And I'll smash your urns.
Inspector
Do you recall that evening when you crapped on the column where the decrees are posted?
Pisthetaerus
Here! here! let him be seized.
The Inspector runs off. Why, don't you want to stay any longer? But let us get indoors as quick as possible; we will sacrifice the goat inside.
1055
[Parabasis 1]
Henceforth it is to me that mortals must address
First Semi-Chorus
their sacrifices and their prayers. Nothing escapes my sight nor my might. My glance embraces the universe, I preserve the fruit in the flower by destroying the thousand kinds of voracious insects the soil produces, which attack the trees
1060
and feed on the germ when it has scarcely formed in the calyx; I destroy those who ravage the balmy terrace gardens like a deadly plague;
1065
all these gnawing crawling creatures perish beneath the lash of my wing.
1070
[Parabasis]
I hear it proclaimed: A talent for him who shall kill Diagoras of Melos,
Leader of First Semi-Chorus
and a talent for him who destroys one of the dead tyrants. We likewise wish to make our proclamation: A talent to him among you who shall kill Philocrates, the Struthian; four, if he brings him to us alive. For this Philocrates skewers the finches together and sells them at the rate of an obolus for seven.
1075
He tortures the thrushes by blowing them out, so that they may look bigger, sticks their own feathers into the nostrils of blackbirds, and collects pigeons, which he shuts up and forces them, fastened in a net, to decoy others. That is what we wish to proclaim. And if anyone is keeping birds
1080
shut up in his yard, let him hasten to let them loose; those who disobey shall be seized by the birds and we shall put them in chains, so that in their turn they may decoy other men.
1085
[Parabasis 1]
Happy indeed is the race of winged birds who
Second Semi-Chorus
need no cloak in winter! Neither do I fear the relentless rays of the fiery dog-days;
1090
when the divine grasshopper, intoxicated with the sunlight, as noon is burning the ground, is breaking out into shrill melody; my home is beneath the foliage in the flowery meadows. I winter in deep caverns, where I frolic with the mountain nymphs, while in spring I despoil
1095
the gardens of the Graces and gather the white, virgin berry on the myrtle bushes.
1100
[Parabasis]
I want now to speak to the judges about the prize they are going to award; if they are favourable to us, we will load them with benefits far greater than those Paris received.
Leader of Second Semi-Chorus
Firstly, the owls of Laurium, which every judge desires above all things, shall never be wanting to you; you shall see them homing with you, building their nests in your money-bags and laying coins. Besides, you shall be housed like the gods,
1105
for we shall erect gables over your dwellings; if you hold some public post and want to do a little pilfering, we will give you the sharp claws of a hawk. Are you dining in town, we will provide you with stomachs as capacious as a bird's crop. But, if your award is against us, don't fail to have metal covers fashioned for yourselves,
1110
like those they place over statues; else, look out! for the day you wear a white tunic all the birds will soil it with their droppings.
1115
Pisthetaerus
Birds! the sacrifice is propitious. But I see
no messenger coming from the wall to tell us what is happening. Ah! here comes one running himself out of breath as though he were in the Olympic stadium.
1120
Messenger
Where, where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where, where, where is he? Where is Pisthetaerus, our leader?
Messenger
The wall is finished.
Pisthetaerus
That's good news.
Messenger
It's a most beautiful, a most magnificent work of art. The wall is so broad that Proxenides, the Braggartian, and Theogenes could pass each other in their chariots, even if they were drawn by steeds as big as the Trojan horse.
1125
Pisthetaerus
That's fine!
Messenger
Its length is one hundred stadia; I measured it myself.
1130
Pisthetaerus
A decent length, by Poseidon! And who built such a wall?
Messenger
Birds —birds only; they had neither Egyptian brickmaker, nor stonemason, nor carpenter;
the birds did it all themselves; I could hardly believe my eyes. Thirty thousand cranes came from Libya with a supply of stones, intended for the foundations. The water-rails chiselled them with their beaks. Ten thousand storks were busy making bricks;
1135
plovers and other water fowl carried water into the air.
1140
Pisthetaerus
And who carried the mortar?
Messenger
Herons, in hods.
Pisthetaerus
But how could they put the mortar into the hods?
Messenger
Oh! it was a truly clever invention;
the geese used their feet like spades; they buried them in the pile of mortar and then emptied them into the hods.
1145
Pisthetaerus
Ah! to what use cannot feet be put?
Messenger
You should have seen how eagerly the ducks carried bricks. To complete the tale,
the swallows came flying to the work, their beaks full of mortar and their trowels on their backs, just the way little children are carried.
1150
Pisthetaerus
Who would want paid servants after this? But tell me, who did the woodwork?
and clever carpenters too, the pelicans, for they squared up the gates with their beaks in such a fashion that one would have thought they were using axes; the noise was just like a dockyard. Now the whole wall is tight everywhere, securely bolted and well guarded;
1155
it is patrolled, bell in hand; the sentinels stand everywhere and beacons burn on the towers. But I must run off to clean myself; the rest is your business.
1160
Leader of the Chorus
Well! what do you say to it? Are you not astonished
at the wall being completed so quickly?
1165
Pisthetaerus
By the gods, yes, and with good reason. It's really not to be believed. But here comes another messenger from the wall to bring us some further news! What a fighting look he has!
Second Messenger
Alas! alas! alas! alas! alas! alas!
1170
Pisthetaerus
What's the matter?
Second Messenger
A horrible outrage has occurred; a god sent by Zeus has passed through our gates and has penetrated the realms of the air without the knowledge of the jays, who are on guard in the daytime.
Pisthetaerus
It's a terrible and criminal deed. What god was it?
1175
Second Messenger
We don't know that. All we know is, that he has got wings.
Pisthetaerus
Why were not patrolmen sent against him at once?
Second Messenger
We have despatched thirty thousand hawks of the legion of Mounted Archers.
All the hook-clawed birds are moving against him, the kestrel, the buzzard, the vulture, the great-horned owl; they cleave the air so that it resounds with the flapping of their wings; they are looking everywhere for the god, who cannot be far away; indeed, if I mistake not,
1180
he is coming from yonder side.
1185
Pisthetaerus
To arms, all, with slings and bows! This way, all our soldiers; shoot and strike! Some one give me a sling!
1185
[Lyric-Scene 1]
War, a terrible war is breaking out
Chorus
between us and the gods! Come, let each one guard Air, the son of Erebus, in which the clouds float.
1190
Take care no immortal enters it without your knowledge.
1195
Leader of the Chorus
Scan all sides with your glance. Hark! methinks I can hear the rustle of the swift wings of a god from heaven.
Pisthetaerus
Hi! you woman! where, where, where are you flying to? Halt, don't stir!
keep motionless! not a beat of your wing!
She pauses in her flight. Who are you and from what country? You must say whence you come.
1200
Iris
I come from the abode of the Olympian gods.
Pisthetaerus
What's your name, ship or head-dress?
Pisthetaerus
Paralus or Salaminia?
Iris
What do you mean?
1205
Pisthetaerus
Let a buzzard rush at her and seize her.
1205
Iris
Seize me? But what do all these insults mean?
Iris
I do not understand it.
Pisthetaerus
By which gate did you pass through the wall, wretched woman?
Iris
By which gate? Why, great gods, I don't know.
1210
Pisthetaerus
You hear how she holds us in derision. Did you present yourself to the officers in command of the jays? You don't answer. Have you a permit, bearing the seal of the storks?
Pisthetaerus
Did you get one?
head-bird gave you a safe-conduct?
1215
Iris
A safe-conduct to me. You poor fool!
Pisthetaerus
Ah! and so you slipped into this city on the sly and into these realms of air-land that don't belong to you.
Iris
And what other roads can the gods travel?
Pisthetaerus
By Zeus! I know nothing about that, not I. But they won't pass this way. And you still dare to complain? Why, if you were treated according to your deserts, no Iris would ever have more justly suffered death.
1220
Pisthetaerus
You would have died nevertheless. —
Oh! that would be truly intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit to the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where are you flying to?
1225
Iris
I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets with the rich smoke of burning fat.
1230
Pisthetaerus
Of which gods are you speaking?
Iris
Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven.
Pisthetaerus
You, gods?
1235
Iris
Are there others then?
1235
Pisthetaerus
Men now adore the birds as gods, and it's to them, by Zeus, that they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all!
Iris
Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not
the wrath of the gods, for it is terrible indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would annihilate your race; the lightning would strike you as it did Licymnius and consume both your body and the porticos of your palace.
1240
Pisthetaerus
Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep quiet! Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian
and think to frighten me with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again, I shall go at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and reduce his dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders. I shall send more than six hundred porphyrions
1245
clothed in leopards' skins up to heaven against him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do. As for you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by getting between your thighs,
1250
and even though you are Iris, you will be surprised at the erection the old man can produce; it's three times as good as the ram on a ship's prow!
1255
Iris
May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words!
Pisthetaerus
Won't you get out of here quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look out for squalls!
Iris
If my father does not punish you for your insults ...
Pisthetaerus
Ha! ... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us with your lightning.
1260
Chorus
We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city
and the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.
1265
Pisthetaerus
It's odd that the messenger
we sent to the mortals has never returned.
1270
Herald
Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very gracious, thrice happy, very ... Come, prompt me, somebody, do
Pisthetaerus
Get to your story!
Herald
All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they award you this golden crown.
Pisthetaerus
I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me?
Herald
Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn with desire to dwell in it.
Before your city was built, all men had a mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honor, men went dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed.
1280
Firstly, as soon as it's dawn, they all spring out of bed together to go and seek their food, the same as you do; then they fly off towards the notices and finally devour the decrees.
1285
The bird-madness is so clear that many actually bear the names of birds. There is a halting victualler, who styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls himself the swallow; Opuntius the one-eyed crow;
1290
Philocles the lark; Theogenes the fox-goose; Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat; Syracosius the magpie; Midias the quail; indeed he looks like a quail that has been hit hard on the head.
1295
Out of love for the birds they repeat all the songs which concern the swallow, the teal, the goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see wings, or at all events a few feathers. This is what is happening down there.
1300
Finally, there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming here from earth to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you supply yourself with wings for the immigrants.
1305
Pisthetaerus
Ah! by Zeus, there's no time for idling. To some slaves. Go as quick as possible and fill every hamper,
every basket you can find with wings. Manes will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome those who present themselves.
1310
[Choral 1]
This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men.
Chorus
Fortune favours us alone
1315
and thus they have fallen in love with our city.
Pisthetaerus
Come, hurry up and bring them along.
Chorus
Will not man find here everything that can please him —
wisdom, love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace?
1320
Pisthetaerus
Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself?
Chorus
Let a basket of wings be brought speedily.
1325
Come, beat him as I do, and put some life into him;
Pisthetaerus
Aye, Manes is a great craven.
Chorus
Begin by putting this heap of wings in order; divide them in three parts according to the birds from whom they came; the singing, the prophetic and the aquatic birds; then you must take care to distribute them to the men according to their character.
1330
[Episode]
Oh! by the kestrels! I can keep my hands off you no longer; you are too slow and lazy altogether.
1335
Parricide
Oh! might I but become an eagle, who soars in the skies! Oh! might I fly above the azure waves of the barren sea!
Pisthetaerus
Ha! it would seem the news was true; I hear someone coming who talks of wings.
1340
Parricide
Nothing is more charming than to fly; I am bird-mad and fly towards you, for I want
to live with you and to obey your laws.
1345
Pisthetaerus
Which laws? The birds have many laws.
Parricide
All of them; but the one that pleases me most is that among the birds it is considered a fine thing to peck and strangle one's father.
Pisthetaerus
Yes, by Zeus! according to us,
he who dares to strike his father, while still a chick, is a brave fellow.
1350
Parricide
And therefore I want to dwell here, for I want to strangle my father and inherit his wealth.
Pisthetaerus
But we have also an ancient law written in the code of the storks, which runs thus,
When the stork father has reared his young and has taught them to fly, the young must in their turn support the father.
1355
Parricide
It's hardly worth while coming all this distance to be compelled to keep my father!
Pisthetaerus
No, no, young friend, since you have come to us with such willingness, I am going to give you these black wings, as though you were an orphan bird; furthermore, some good advice, that I received myself in infancy. Don't strike your father, but take
1360
these wings in one hand and these spurs in the other; imagine you have a cock's crest on your head and go and mount guard and fight; live on your pay and respect your father's life. You're a gallant fellow! Very well, then! Fly to Thrace and fight.
1365
Parricide
By Bacchus! You're right; I will follow your counsel.
1370
Pisthetaerus
It's acting wisely, by Zeus..
Cinesias
On my light pinions I soar off to Olympus; in its capricious flight my Muse flutters along the thousand paths of poetry in turn ...
Pisthetaerus
This is a fellow will need a whole shipload of wings.
1375
Cinesias
... and being fearless and vigorous, it is seeking fresh outlet.
Pisthetaerus
Welcome, Cinesias, you lime-wood man! Why have you come here twisting your game leg in circles?
Cinesias
I want to become a bird, a tuneful nightingale.
1380
Pisthetaerus
Enough of that sort of ditty. Tell me what you want.
Cinesias
Give me wings and I will fly into the topmost airs to gather fresh songs in the clouds,
in the midst of the vapors and the fleecy snow.
1385
Pisthetaerus
Gather songs in the clouds?
Cinesias
'Tis on them the whole of our latter-day art depends. The most brilliant dithyrambs are those that flap their wings in empty space and are clothed in mist and dense obscurity.
To appreciate this, just listen.
1390
Pisthetaerus
Oh! no, no, no!
Cinesias
By Hermes! but indeed you shall.
I shall travel through thine ethereal empire
like a winged bird, who cleaveth space with his long neck ...
Pisthetaerus
Stop! Way enough!
1395
Cinesias
... as I soar over the seas, carried by the breath of the winds ...
Pisthetaerus
By Zeus! I'll cut your breath short.
He picks up a pair of wings and begins trying to stop Cinesias' mouth with them.
Cinesias
... now rushing along the tracks of Notus, now nearing Boreas
across the infinite wastes of the ether.
1400
Ah! old man, that's a pretty and clever idea truly!
Pisthetaerus
What! are you not delighted to be cleaving the air?
Cinesias
To treat a dithyrambic poet, for whom the tribes dispute with each other, in this style!
Pisthetaerus
Will you stay with us and form a chorus of winged birds as slender as Leotrophides for the Cecropid tribe?
1405
Cinesias
You are making game of me, that's clear; but know that I shall never leave you in peace if I do not have wings wherewith to traverse the air.
Informer
What are these birds with downy feathers, who look so pitiable to me? Tell me, oh swallow with the long dappled wings.
1410
Pisthetaerus
Oh! it's a regular invasion that threatens us. Here comes another one, humming along.
Informer
Swallow with the long dappled wings, once more I summon you.
1415
Pisthetaerus
It's his cloak I believe he's addressing; it stands in great need of the swallows' return.
Informer
Where is he who gives out wings to all comers?
Pisthetaerus
Here I am, but you must tell me for what purpose you want them.
Informer
Ask no questions. I want wings, and wings I must have.
1420
Pisthetaerus
Do you want to fly straight to Pellene?
Informer
I? Why, I am an accuser of the islands, an informer ...
Pisthetaerus
A fine trade, truly!
Informer
... a hatcher of lawsuits. Hence I have great need of wings
to prowl round the cities and drag them before justice.
1425
Pisthetaerus
Would you do this better if you had wings?
Informer
No, but I should no longer fear the pirates; I should return with the cranes, loaded with a supply of lawsuits by way of ballast.
Pisthetaerus
So it seems, despite all your youthful vigor, you make it your trade to denounce strangers?
1430
Informer
Well, and why not? I don't know how to dig.
Pisthetaerus
But, by Zeus! there are
honest ways of gaining a living at your age without all this infamous trickery.
1435
Informer
My friend, I am asking you for wings, not for words.
Pisthetaerus
It's just my words that gives you wings.
Informer
And how can you give a man wings with your words?
Pisthetaerus
They all start this way.
Pisthetaerus
Have you not often heard
the father say to young men in the barbers' shops, It's astonishing how Diitrephes' advice has made my son fly to horse-riding. —Mine, says another, has
1440
flown towards tragic poetry on the wings of his imagination.
1445
Informer
So that words give wings?
Pisthetaerus
Undoubtedly; words give wings to the mind and make a man soar to heaven. Thus I hope that my wise words will give you wings
to fly to some less degrading trade.
1450
Informer
But I do not want to.
1450
Pisthetaerus
What do you reckon on doing then?
Informer
I won't belie my breeding; from generation to generation we have lived by informing. Quick, therefore, give me quickly some light, swift hawk or kestrel wings,
so that I may summon the islanders, sustain the accusation here, and haste back there again on flying pinions.
1455
Pisthetaerus
I see. In this way the stranger will be condemned even before he appears.
Pisthetaerus
And while he is on his way here by sea, you will be flying to the islands
to despoil him of his property.
1460
Informer
You've hit it, precisely; I must whirl hither and thither like a perfect humming-top.
1460
Pisthetaerus
I catch the idea. Wait, I've got some fine Corcyraean wings. How do you like them?
Informer
Oh! woe is me! Why, it's a whip!
Pisthetaerus
No, no; these are the wings,
I tell you, that make the top spin.
1465
Pisthetaerus
Take your flight, clear off, you miserable cur, or you will soon see what comes of quibbling and lying. The Informer flees. To his slaves. Come, let us gather up our wings and withdraw.
[Lyric-Scene 1]
In my ethereal flights I have seen many things new and strange and wondrous beyond belief.
1470
Chorus
There is a tree called Cleonymus belonging to an unknown species; it has no heart, is good for nothing and is as tall as it is cowardly. In springtime it shoots forth calumnies instead of buds and
1475
in autumn it strews the ground with bucklers in place of leaves.
1480
Far away in the regions of darkness, where no ray of light ever enters, there is a country,
where men sit at the table of the heroes and dwell with them always —except in the evening.
1485
Should any mortal meet the hero Orestes at night, he would soon be stripped and covered with blows from head to foot.
1490
Prometheus
Ah! by the gods! if only Zeus does not see me!
Where is Pisthetaerus?
1495
Pisthetaerus
Ha! what is this? A masked man!
1495
Prometheus
Can you see any god behind me?
Pisthetaerus
No, none. But who are you, pray?
Prometheus
What's the time, please?
Pisthetaerus
The time? Why, it's past noon.
Prometheus
Is it the fall of day? Is it no later than that?
1500
Pisthetaerus
This is getting dull!
Prometheus
What is Zeus doing? Is he dispersing the clouds or gathering them?
Pisthetaerus
Watch out for yourself!
Prometheus
Come, I will raise my mask.
Pisthetaerus
Ah! my dear Prometheus!
Prometheus
Sh! Sh! speak lower!
Pisthetaerus
Why, what's the matter, Prometheus?
1505
Prometheus
Sh! sh! Don't call me by my name; you will be my ruin, if Zeus should see me here. But, if you want me to tell you how things are going in heaven, take this umbrella and shield me, so that the gods don't see me.
1505
Pisthetaerus
I can recognize Prometheus in this cunning trick. Come, quick then, and fear nothing; speak on.
1510
Pisthetaerus
I am listening, proceed!
Prometheus
Zeus is done for.
Pisthetaerus
Ah! and since when, pray?
Prometheus
Since you founded this city in the air. There is not a man who now sacrifices to the gods; the smoke of the victims no longer reaches us. Not the smallest offering comes! We fast as though it were the festival of Demeter.
1515
The barbarian gods, who are dying of hunger, are bawling like Illyrians and threaten to make an armed descent upon Zeus, if he does not open markets where joints of the victims are sold.
1520
Pisthetaerus
What! there are other gods besides you, barbarian gods who dwell above Olympus?
1525
Prometheus
If there were no barbarian gods, who would be the patron of Execestides?
Pisthetaerus
And what is the name of these gods?
Prometheus
Their name? Why, the Triballi.
'tis from that no doubt that we derive the word ‘tribulation.'
1530
Prometheus
Most likely. But one thing I can tell you for certain, namely, that Zeus and the celestial Triballi are going to send deputies here to sue for peace. Now don't you treat with them, unless
Zeus restores the scepter to the birds and gives you Basileia in marriage.
1535
Pisthetaerus
Who is this Basileia?
Prometheus
A very fine young damsel, who makes the lightning for Zeus; all things come from her,
wisdom, good laws, virtue, the fleet, calumnies, the public paymaster and the triobolus.
1540
Pisthetaerus
Ah! then she is a sort of general manageress to the god.
Prometheus
Yes, precisely. If he gives you her for your wife, yours will be the almighty power. That is what I have come to tell you;
for you know my constant and habitual goodwill towards men.
1545
Pisthetaerus
Oh, yes! it's thanks to you that we roast our meat.
Prometheus
I hate the gods, as you know.
Pisthetaerus
Aye, by Zeus, you have always detested them.
Prometheus
Towards them I am a veritable Timon; but I must return in all haste,
so give me the umbrella; if Zeus should see me from up there, he would think I was escorting one of the Canephori.
1550
Pisthetaerus
Wait, take this stool as well.
Prometheus leaves. Pisthetaerus goes into the thicket.
Chorus
Near by the land of the Sciapodes there is a marsh, from the borders whereof the unwashed
Socrates evokes the souls of men. Pisander came one day to see his soul, which he had left there when still alive. He offered
1555
a little victim, a camel, slit his throat and, following the example of Odysseus, stepped one pace backwards. Then that bat of a Chaerephon came up from hell to drink the camel's blood.
1560
Poseidon
This is the city of Nephelococcygia, to which we come as ambassadors.
To Triballus. Hi! what are you up to? you are throwing your cloak over the left shoulder. Come, fling it quick over the right! And why, pray, does it draggle in this fashion? Have you ulcers to hide like Lespodias?
1565
Oh! democracy! whither, oh! whither are you leading us? Is it possible that the gods have chosen such an envoy?
1570
Ugh! you cursed savage! you are by far the most barbarous of all the gods. —
Tell me, Heracles, what are we going to do?
Heracles
I have already told you
that I want to strangle the fellow who dared to wall us out.
1575
Poseidon
But, my friend, we are envoys of peace.
Heracles
All the more reason why I wish to strangle him.
Pisthetaerus
Hand me the cheese-grater; bring me the silphium for sauce;
pass me the cheese and watch the coals.
1580
Heracles
Mortal! we who greet you are three gods.
Pisthetaerus
Wait a bit till I have prepared my silphium pickle.
Heracles
What are these meats?
Pisthetaerus
These are birds that have been punished with death
for attacking the people's friends.
1585
Heracles
And you are going to season them before answering us?
1585
Pisthetaerus
Ah! Heracles! welcome, welcome! What's the matter?
Poseidon
The gods have sent us here as ambassadors to treat for peace.
Pisthetaerus
There's no more oil in the flask.
Heracles
And yet the birds must be thoroughly basted with it.
1590
Poseidon
We have no interest to serve in fighting you; as for you, be friends and we promise that you shall always have rain-water in your pools and the warmest of warm weather.
So far as these points go we are plenipotentiaries.
1595
Pisthetaerus
We have never been the aggressors, and even now we are as well disposed for peace as yourselves, provided you agree to one equitable condition, namely,
that Zeus yield his scepter to the birds. If only this is agreed to, I invite the ambassadors to dinner.
1600
Heracles
That's good enough for me. I vote for peace.
Poseidon
You wretch! you are nothing but a fool and a glutton.
Do you want to dethrone your own father?
1605
Pisthetaerus
What an error. Why, the gods will be much more powerful if the birds govern the earth. At present the mortals are hidden beneath the clouds, escape your observation, and commit perjury in your name;
but if you had the birds for your allies, and a man, after having sworn by the crow and Zeus, should fail to keep his oath, the crow would dive down upon him unawares and pluck out his eye.
1610
Poseidon
Well thought of, by Poseidon!
Heracles
My notion too.
1615
Pisthetaerus
And you, what's your opinion?
1615
Triballus
Nabasatreu.
1615
Pisthetaerus
D'you see? he also approves. But listen, here is another thing in which we can serve you. If a man vows to offer a sacrifice to some god, and then procrastinates,
pretending that the gods can wait, and thus does not keep his word, we shall punish his stinginess.
1620
Pisthetaerus
While he is counting his money or is in the bath, a kite will relieve him, before he knows it, either in coin or in clothes,
of the value of a couple of sheep, and carry it to the god.
1625
Heracles
I vote for restoring them the scepter.
Heracles
Hi! Triballus, do you want a thrashing?
Triballus
Sure, bashum head withum stick.
Heracles
He says, Right willingly.
Poseidon
If that be the opinion of both of you, why, I consent too.
1630
Heracles
Very well! we accord you the scepter.
Pisthetaerus
Ah! I was nearly forgetting another condition. I will leave Here to Zeus, but only if the young Basileia
is given me in marriage.
1635
Poseidon
Then you don't want peace. Let us withdraw.
1635
Pisthetaerus
It matters mighty little to me. Cook, look to the gravy.
Heracles
What an odd fellow this Poseidon is! Where are you off to? Are we going to war about a woman?
Poseidon
What else is there to do?
1640
Heracles
What else? Why, conclude peace.
1640
Poseidon
Oh! you blockhead! do you always want to be fooled? Why, you are seeking your own downfall. If Zeus were to die, after having yielded them the sovereignty, you would be ruined, for you are the heir of
all the wealth he will leave behind.
1645
Pisthetaerus
Oh! by the gods! how he is cajoling you. Step aside, that I may have a word with you. Your uncle is getting the better of you, my poor friend.
The law will not allow you an obolus of the paternal property, for you are a bastard and not a legitimate child.
1650
Heracles
I a bastard! What's that you tell me?
Pisthetaerus
Why, certainly; are you not born of a stranger woman? Besides, is not Athena recognized as Zeus' sole heiress? And no daughter would be that, if she had a legitimate brother.
Heracles
But what if my father wished to give me his property on his death-bed, even though I be a bastard?
1655
Pisthetaerus
The law forbids it, and this same Poseidon would be the first to lay claim to his wealth, in virtue of being his legitimate brother. Listen;
thus runs Solon's law: A bastard shall not inherit, if there are
1660
legitimate children; and if there are no legitimate children, the property shall pass to the nearest kin.
1665
Heracles
And I get nothing whatever of the paternal property?
Pisthetaerus
Absolutely nothing. But tell me, has your father had you entered on the registers of his phratry?
Heracles
No, and I have long been surprised at the omission.
1670
Pisthetaerus
Why do you shake your fist at heaven? Do you want to fight? Why, be on my side, I will make you a king and will feed you on bird's milk and honey.
Heracles
Your further condition seems fair to me.
I cede you the young damsel.
1675
Poseidon
But I, I vote against this opinion.
Pisthetaerus
Then it all depends on the Triballus.
To the Triballus. What do you say?
Triballus
Givum bird pretty gel bigum queen.
Heracles
He says give her.
Poseidon
Why no, he does not say anything of the sort, or else, like the swallows he does not know how to walk.
1680
Pisthetaerus
Exactly so. Does he not say she must be given to the swallows?
Poseidon
All right, you two arrange the matter; make peace, since you wish it so; I'll hold my tongue.
Heracles
We are of a mind to grant you all that you ask. But come up there with us to receive Basileia and the celestial bounty.
1685
Pisthetaerus
Here are birds already dressed, and very suitable for a nuptial feast.
Heracles
You go and, if you like, I will stay here to roast them.
Pisthetaerus
You to roast them? you are too much the glutton; come along with us.
Heracles
Ah! how well I would have treated myself!
Pisthetaerus
Let some one bring me a beautiful and magnificent tunic for the wedding.
Chorus
At Phanae, near the
Clepsydra, there dwells a people who have neither faith nor law, the Englottogastors, who reap, sow, pluck the vines and the figs with their tongues;
1695
they belong to a barbaric race, and among them the Philippi and the Gorgiases are to be found; 'tis these Englottogastorian Philippi who introduced the custom all over Attica
1700
of cutting out the tongue separately at sacrifices.
1705
Messenger
Oh, you, whose unbounded happiness I cannot express in words, thrice happy race of airy birds, receive your king in your fortunate dwellings. More brilliant than the brightest
star that illumes the earth, he is approaching his glittering golden palace; the sun itself does not shine with more dazzling glory. He is entering with his bride at his side, whose beauty no human tongue can express; in his hand he brandishes the lightning, the winged shaft of Zeus;
1710
perfumes of unspeakable sweetness pervade the ethereal realms. 'Tis a glorious spectacle to see the clouds of incense wafting in light whirlwinds before the breath of the zephyr! But here he is himself. Divine Muse! let thy sacred lips begin with songs of happy omen.
1715
[Exodus]
Fall back! to the right! to the left! advance! Fly around this happy mortal, whom Fortune loads with her blessings. Oh! oh! what grace! what beauty!
1720
Chorus
Oh, marriage so auspicious for our city!
1725
All honor to this man! 'tis through him that the birds are called to such glorious destinies. Let your nuptial hymns, your nuptial songs, greet
him and his Basileia!
1730
[Exodus 1]
Lines rearranged to better fit Greek lineation. Originally read: 'Twas in the midst of such festivities that the Fates formerly united Olympian Hera to the King who governs the gods from the summit of his inaccessible throne. 'Twas that the Fates formerly united Olympian Hera to the King who governs the gods from the summit of his inaccessible throne
Chorus
in the midst of such festivities. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
1735
Rosy Eros with the golden wings held the reins and guided the chariot; 'twas he, who presided over
the union of Zeus and the fortunate Hera. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
1740
[Exodus]
I am delighted with your songs, I applaud your verses. Now celebrate
Pisthetaerus
the thunder that shakes the earth, the flaming lightning of Zeus and the terrible flashing thunderbolt.
1745
Chorus
Oh, thou golden flash of the lightning! oh, ye divine shafts of flame, that Zeus has hitherto shot forth!
Oh, ye rolling thunders, that bring down the rain! 'Tis by the order of our king that ye shall now stagger the earth! Oh, Hymen! 'tis through thee that he commands the universe and that he makes Basileia, whom he has robbed from Zeus, take her seat at his side. Oh! Hymen! oh! Hymenaeus!
1750
Pisthetaerus
Let all the winged tribes of our fellow-citizens follow the bridal couple to the palace of Zeus and to the nuptial couch! Stretch forth your
1755
hands, my dear wife! Take hold of me by my wings and let us dance; I am going to lift you up and carry you through the air.
1760
Chorus
Alalalai ie Paian! Tenella kallinikos!
Loftiest art thou of gods!
1765