1
DIONYSUS
The same as far as the bow goes, Apollo, but no farther, for Artemis kills visitors in Scythia, while you are a prophet and healer of the sick.
APOLLO
What? Do you think my sister likes her Scythians? Why, the moment a Greek reaches Taurica, she’s all ready and waiting to sail off with him, in disgust at their human sacrifices. A reference to the Iphigenia in Tauris of Euripides, where Iphigenia, as priestess of Artemis, is compelled to-sacrifice foreigners to the goddess, but sails off with Orestes and Pylades, who carry off with them the statue of Artemis. Cf. On Sacrifices 13.
5
DIONYSUS
And the best thing she could do. But now as for Priapus—I’ll tell you something really funny. The other day—it was in Lampsacus—I was passing the city, when he invited me home with him, and put me up for the night. Now we’d gone to sleep in his dining-room, after and were pretty well soaked, when about midnight up gets our bold lad—but I’m ashamed to tell you.
APOLLO
And made an attempt on you, Dionysus?
DIONYSUS
Something like that.
APOLLO
How did you deal with the situation?
DIONYSUS
What could I do but laugh?
5
APOLLO
The best thing too, no bad temper or violence. He’d some excuse for making an attempt on you. You’re so good-looking.
DIONYSUS
As far as that goes, he might make an attempt on you too, Apollo. You’re so handsome and have such a fine head of hair, that he might assault you, even when he was sober.
APOLLO
Oh no, he won’t. I have arrows as well as long hair.
HERMES
Is there a god in heaven, mother, more miserable than I am?
