2–4
PAN
I’ll tell you what she said herself. When she was packing me off to Arcadia, she said, “My boy, I, Penelope, a true blue Spartan, am your mother, but your father, let me tell you, is a god, Hermes, son of Maia and Zeus. Don’t worry because you have horns and a goat’s shanks, for when your father came courting me, he made himself into a goat so that no one would notice him. That’s why you’ve turned out like the goat.”
HERMES
Ah, yes. I do remember doing something like that. Am I, then, to be called your father? I, who am so proud of my good looks! I, who’ve still got a smooth chin! Am I to be laughed at by all for having such a bonny boy?
PAN
But I won’t disgrace you, father. I’m a musician and play the pipe loud and true. Dionysus is lost without me, and has made me his companion and fellow-reveller; I’m his dance-leader, and if you could see how many flocks I have around Tegea and on Parthenium, you’d be delighted. I’m lord and master of all Arcadia. Besides that, the other day, I fought so magnificently on the side of the Athenians at Marathon that a prize of valour was chosen for me—the cave under the Acropolis. Cf. Herodotus, VI, 105, Euripides, Ion, 492 ff., Lucian, Double Indictment 9, and Lover of Lies 3. Anyhow, go to Athens and you’ll soon find out what a great name Pan has there.
HERMES
Tell me, are you married yet, Pan? Pan’s the name they give you, isn’t it?
PAN
Of course not, daddy. I’m romantically inclined, and wouldn’t like to have to confine my attentions to just one.
