1–4
CROESUS
Whenever we moan and groan at our memories of life above, Midas recalling his gold, Sardanapalus Assur-Bani-Pal. his great luxury, and I, Croesus, my treasures, he mocks and reviles us, calling us slaves and scum: sometimes he even disturbs our lamentations by singing. In short, he’s a pest.
PLUTO
What’s this they tell me, Menippus?
MENIPPUS
True enough, Pluto; I hate them; they’re low scoundrels, not content with having led bad lives, but even in death they remember their past and cling to it. That’s why I enjoy tormenting them.
5
PLUTO
You shouldn’t; they mourn great losses.
MENIPPUS
Are you a fool too, Pluto? Do you approve of their groanings?
PLUTO
Not at all, but I wouldn’t like you to be quarrelling.
MENIPPUS
Even so, you lowest of the low from Lydia, Phrygia and Assyria, I’d have you know that I’ll never stop. Wherever you go, I’ll follow, tormenting you with my songs and mockery.
CROESUS
Isn’t this outrageous?
MENIPPUS
No, the outrageous thing was your behaviour, when you expected people to worship you, treated free men with contempt, and forgot all about death. That’s why you’re going to lament the loss of all those things.
CROESUS
Oh, ye gods, many and great possessions they were!
SARDANAPALUS
All my luxury!
MENIPPUS
Bravo, go on. You keep up your whimperings, and I’ll accompany you with song, with a string of “Know-Thyself” s for my refrain. That’s the proper accompaniment for such lamentations.
