2–4
Menippus
Why, Homer, Homer, what is this? All your great heroes flung down upon the earth, shapeless, undistinguishable; mere meaningless dust; ‘strengthless heads,’ and no mistake.—Who is this one, Aeacus?
Aeacus
That is Cyrus; and here is Croesus; beyond him Sardanapalus, and beyond him again Midas, And yonder is Xerxes.
Menippus
Ha! and it was before this creature that Greece trembled? this is our yoker of Hellesponts, our designer of Athoscanals?—Croesus too! a sad spectacle! As to Sardanapalus, I will lend him a box on the ear, with your permission.
Aeacus
And crack his skull, poor dear! Certainly not.
Menippus
Then I must content myself with spitting in his ladyship’s face.
5
Aeacus
Would you like to see the philosophers?
Menippus
I should like it of all things.
Aeacus
First comes Pythagoras.
Menippus
Good-day, Euphorbus, alias Apollo, alias what you will.
Pythagoras
Good-day, Menippus.
5
Menippus
What, no golden thigh nowadays?
Pythagoras
Why, no. I wonder if there is anything to eat in that wallet of yours?
Menippus
Beans, friend; you don’t like beans,
Pythagoras
Try me. My principles have changed with my quarters. I find that down here our parents’ heads are in no way connected with beans.
Aeacus
Here is Solon, the son of Execestides, and there is Thales, By them are Pittacus, and the rest of the sages, seven in all, as you see,
Menippus
The only resigned and cheerful countenances yet. Who is the one covered with ashes, like a loaf baked in the embers? He is all over blisters,
Aeacus
That is Empedocles, He was half-roasted when he got here from Etna.
Menippus
Tell me, my brazen-slippered friend, what induced you to jump into the crater?
