Thesauros Literature satire Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι

Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι

Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι Lucian of Samosata

2–3

PHILIP
What enemies did you conquer that were worth fighting? Your adversaries were always cowards, and armed with nothing better than bows and bucklers and wicker shields. But conquering Greeks, conquering Boeotians, Phocians and Athenians was a real task, and subduing Arcadian heavy troops, Thessalian horse, javelin men of Elis, and light troops from Mantinea, or Thracians, Illyrians or Paeonians was a great achievement. But as for Medes, Persians and Chaldaeans, effeminate creatures bedecked in gold—you weren’t the first to conquer them. Don’t you know how Clearchus did so, going inland with a mere ten thousand men, and they didn’t even wait to fight at close quarters, but fled before they were in bow-shot?
ALEXANDER
But, father, the Scythians and the elephants of the Indians are not to be despised, and yet I won my victories over them without sowing dissension, or using bribery and treachery. I never went back on an oath or a promise, or broke faith to gain a victory, and, though I took over most of the Greeks without bloodshed, perhaps you’ve heard how I punished the Thebans.
PHILIP
I know all that; I was told by Clitus, whom you killed at dinner, by running him through with a spear, because he dared to praise me rather than your achievements.

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