Thesauros Literature satire Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι

Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι

Νεκρικοὶ Διάλογοι Lucian of Samosata

9–12

A Philosopher
Oh, all right, Menippus; suppose you leave your independence behind you, and your plain-speaking, and your indifference, and your high spirit, and your jests!—No one else here has a jest about him.
Hermes
Don’t you, Menippus! you stick to them; useful commodities, these, on shipboard; light and handy.—
 
You rhetorician there, with your verbosities and your barbarisms, your antitheses and balances and periods, off with the whole pack of them.
A Rhetorician
Away they go.
Hermes
All’s ready. Loose the cable, and pull in the gangway; haul up the anchor; spread all sail; and, pilot, look to your helm. Good luck to our voyage!—
 
What are you all whining about, you fools? You philosopher, late of the beard,—you’re as bad as any of them.
A Philosopher
Ah, Hermes: I had thought that the soul was immortal.
Menippus
He lies: that is not the cause of his distress.
Hermes
What is it, then?
Menippus
He knows that he will never have a good dinner again; never sneak about at night with his cloak over his head, going the round of the brothels; never spend his mornings in fooling boys out of their money, under the pretext of teaching them wisdom. 5
A Philosopher
And pray are you content to be dead?
Menippus
It may be presumed so, as I sought death of my own accord.—
 
By the way, I surely heard a noise, as if people were shouting on the earth?

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