2–4
Simylus
Tender passions, indeed! what, you, an old man with hardly a tooth left in your head!
Polystratus
Certainly; the first of our townsmen were in love with me. Such as you see me, old, bald, blear-eyed, rheumy, they delighted to do me honour; happy was the man on whom my glance rested a moment.
Simylus
Well, then, you had some adventure like Phaon’s, when he rowed Aphrodite across from Chios; your God granted your prayer and made you young and fair and lovely again.
Polystratus
No, no; I was as you see me, and I was the object of all desire.
Simylus
Oh, I give it up.
10
Polystratus
Why, I should have thought you knew the violent passion for old men who have plenty of money and no children.
Simylus
Ah, now I comprehend your beauty, old fellow; it was the Golden Aphrodite bestowed it.
Polystratus
I assure you, Simylus, I had a good deal of satisfaction out of my lovers; they idolized me, almost. Often I would be coy and shut some of them out. Such rivalries! such jealous emulations!
Simylus
And how did you dispose of your fortune in the end?
Polystratus
I gave each an express promise to make him my heir; he believed, and treated me to more attentions than ever; meanwhile I had another genuine will, which was the one I left, with a message to them all to go hang.
Simylus
Who was the heir by this one? one of your relations, I suppose.
Polystratus
Not likely; it was a handsome young Phrygian I had lately bought.
Polystratus
About twenty.
Simylus
Ah, I can guess his office.
