Thesauros Literature satire Βίων Πρᾶσις

Βίων Πρᾶσις

Βίων Πρᾶσις Lucian of Samosata

18–21

Buyer
Then you will do to buy, for you are wise and have good eyes. Come, Hermes, how much will you charge me for him?
Hermes
Two thousand dollars.
Buyer
I take him at the price. However, I will pay you later.
Hermes
What is your name?
Buyer
Dion of Syracuse.
Hermes
Take him, with my best wishes. Next I call you, the Epicurean. Who will buy this one? He is the pupil of that laugher and of the drunkard whom I offered a little while ago. But he has made one step in advance of them, inasmuch as he has less regard for holy things. For the rest, he is pleasant and the friend of good living.
Buyer
What's the price?
Hermes
Forty dollars. 5
Buyer
Here you are. But tell me what sort of food he likes.
Hermes
He lives on sweet things like honey, and particularly figs.
Buyer
That is easy enough. I will buy him penny-loaves of fig-cake.
Zeus
Call up another-that scowling fellow with the shaved head from the Porch.
Hermes
Very well. At all events, a great crowd of those who have come to the sale seem to be waiting for him. I offer for sale virtue herself, the most perfect of lives. Who wishes to know everything, alone of all men?
Buyer
What do you mean?
Hermes
This man alone is wise, he alone is beautiful, he alone is just, manly, a king, an orator, a millionaire, a legislator, and everything else.
Buyer
Then, friend, is he alone a cook, and a tanner, by Jove! and a carpenter, and everything of that sort? 5
Hermes
Apparently.
Buyer
Come, my friend, and tell me, your purchaser, what sort of person you are, and, to begin with, whether it is not an affliction to you to be sold and in slavery.

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