Book 9
1
The question is also raised whether one ought to love oneself or someone else most. We censure those who put themselves first, and lover of self is used as a term of reproach. And it is thought that a bad man considers himself in all he does, and the more so the worse he is—so it is a complaint against him for instance that he never does a thing unless you make him —whereas a good man acts from a sense of what is noble, and the better he is the more he so acts, and he considers his friend’s interest, disregarding his own.
2
But the facts do not accord with these theories; nor is this surprising. For we admit that one should love one’s best friend most; but the best friend is he that, when he wishes a person’s good, wishes it for that person’s own sake, even though nobody will ever know of it. Now this condition is most fully realized in a man’s regard for himself, as indeed are all the other attributes that make up the definition of a friend; for it has been said alreadySee chap. 4. that all the feelings that constitute friendship for others are an extension of regard for self. Moreover, all the proverbs agree with this; for example, Friends have one soul between them,Eur. Orest. 1046. Friends’ goods are common property, Amity is equality, The knee is nearer than the shin. Charity begins at home ( Ross). All of these sayings will apply most fully to oneself; for a man is his own best friend. Therefore he ought to love himself most.
