Book 7
4
and in another way when a man wishes another’s existence—even though not bestowing goods on him, let alone existence—for that other’s sake and not for his own, he would be thought to be in a high degree the friend of that other;
5
and in another way a man is a friend of one whose society he desires merely for the sake of his company and not for something else, as fathers desire their children’s existence, though they associate with other people. All these cases conflict with one another;
6
some men do not think they are loved unless the friend wishes them this or that particular good, others unless their existence is desired, others unless their society.
7
Again we shall reckon it affection to grieve with one who grieves not for some ulterior motive—as for instance slaves in relation to their masters share their grief because when in grief they are harsh, and not for their masters’ own sake, as mothers grieve with their children, and birds that share each other’s pain.
8
For a friend wishes most of all that he might not only feel pain when his friend is in pain but feel actually the same pain—for example when he is thirsty, share his thirst—if this were possible, and if not, as nearly the same as may be.
9
The same principle applies also in the case of joy; it is characteristic of a friend to rejoice for no other reason than because the other is rejoicing. Again there are sayings about friendship such as Amity is equality and True friends have one spirit.
